


Sleepover

by fesbian_leminist



Series: Let's Make Gilmore Girls Gay [3]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27566980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fesbian_leminist/pseuds/fesbian_leminist
Summary: Paris has a secret, and no one else can know. Can't know how she feels, or what she wants. Who she wants. Rory esepcially can't know.It would be so much easier to keep if she could just stop thinking about her all the time.
Relationships: Paris Geller/Rory Gilmore
Series: Let's Make Gilmore Girls Gay [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985360
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	Sleepover

Things had been mostly nice till now. Rory had agreed to help her study even though she'd wanted to be alone and that had gone well and then she'd gotten to have dinner with Rory and that had been good too. Admittedly, Jess being there was annoying, but Paris knew she wouldn't have been able to stay if he hadn't turned up so she couldn't begrudge it too much. It let her spend more time with Rory. Made sure she couldn't accidentally make things weird.

She'd been worried about it since the night of the play. Since she'd realised what her feelings for Rory actually were. She'd been on edge every time she'd talked to her, not letting herself get too comfortable in case she unintentionally revealed herself to Rory. It was hard enough wanting something impossible. She couldn't bear the thought of losing the closest thing she had to a friend on top of that.

But then Dean came and Jess left and Dean started shouting at Rory. Shouting about Jess being there, about Rory lying to him. Paris couldn't stand it, even if she understood why he was upset. What he was worried about. So she stepped in. Said Jess was there for her, even if the idea made her skin crawl a bit. Dean seemed to buy it, though. Seemed to calm down, and Paris was happy with that. She'd hated how Rory had looked when he'd been shouting. Hated how hurt she'd seemed.

She left the room after that. Sat on the sofa and let them finish talking it out without her. Didn't want to intrude any more than she already had. She wondered how annoyed Dean would have been if Rory had just been spending the evening with her. Probably wouldn't have been so much shouting, even if he had been upset. Paris had barely been able to figure things out herself. How could Dean have ever guessed what she'd wanted from Rory?

Not as though Rory would ever want the same from her, anyway.

She stood as the two of them went to the door, grabbing her jacket and listening to Rory say goodbye to him. She didn't want to be a bother. Didn't want to outstay her welcome any more than she already had. She was about to head to the door herself when Rory came into the room, a weak smile on her face as she approached her.

“What was that story there? Where did that come from?”

“I dunno. It just came out. I'd have said anything to stop all that shouting.” Paris smiled back at Rory, about to start leaving when Rory rushed forward and pulled her into a hug. Her voice caught in her throat, face flushing as she felt Rory squeeze her tighter. Felt her body pushing against her.

“You have no idea what you did.” Paris was still frozen, desperately trying to figure out what to do. What to say. She couldn't think about anything but Rory, though. How warm she was. How nice her hair smelt. How good it felt being so close to her.

“It was nothing. No big deal.”

“No, it was a very big deal. A huge deal.” Paris' face burned hotter as Rory squeezed her tighter and buried her face into her shoulder. This was too much. She couldn't bear it, no matter how deeply she wanted it.

“Well, you helped me tonight when you didn't want to, so I owed you. Glad I could even it out so soon.”

“Thank you.” Rory gave her one last quick squeeze before letting go and Paris tried not to seem to relieved. It had been wonderful. She would have been perfectly happy for Rory to have held her like that forever. It couldn't happen, though. Better not to have too much. Better not to know what she was missing.

“You're welcome. I'll just get going then. Let you get back to your night alone.” She felt her stomach twist as she smiled at Rory, as she started stepping past her. She didn't want to delay this any longer. It was already hard to think of anything but her. How beautiful she was. How wonderful she felt. She didn't want to do something stupid. Something she'd regret.

“Stay.” She froze as she heard Rory's voice. As she felt a hand grip her wrist. She didn't look at her. Didn't look away from the door. “You should stay.”

“Stay?” Why? She'd helped Rory out. Paid her back for helping her study, for ruining her plans. This didn't make sense. The hug had been unexpected enough. This was just too much.

“Yeah. We can hang out, maybe watch some TV. And you can stay the night, if you want. Better than driving back to Hartford so late, right?” Paris swallowed, slowly turning to Rory. She was smiling. It was a big smile. Pretty. Paris wanted to kiss her. Wanted to grab hold of her and never let go.

“Stay the night? Like a slumber party?” She needed to calm down. Rory was just being nice to her. She might not have been used to it but she didn't need to be so weird. Couldn't be such a freak that Rory wouldn't make the same mistake again.

“Sort of.” Rory rubbed her head and looked away, a bit of redness creeping into her cheeks. Paris looked down, squeezing her fists as she stomach started twisting into a knot again. Why did she have to be like this? Why couldn't she just be normal.

“You're just doing this because I lied to Dean for you.”

“I'm doing this because you're my friend, and this is what friends do.” Paris slowly looked back up, warmth spreading through her body as she saw the smile on Rory's face.

“We're friends?” Her body relaxed a little as Rory nodded, and she immediately tensed back up as she felt the tears start approaching. Not now. Not till she was alone. Couldn't make this any weirder than she already undoubtedly had.

“Well, yeah. Whatever weird thing we are, friends is definitely a part of it.” Paris nodded, afraid to speak in case she just started crying again. No one else was this nice to her. No one else treated her like this, and she couldn't understand why Rory was different. She didn't want to mess it up when it was all going so well. “C'mon. We'll get you out of those clothes and into some pyjamas. Can't have a slumber partydressed like that, can you?”

“I dunno. Never had one before.” Rory stared at her, almost looking like she was about to make a sarcastic comment when she shook her head, still smiling as she started dragging her towards her bedroom.

“Well don't you worry. I will be an excellent teacher for your first time.” Paris' body started to burn, and she stared back at the ground, trying desperately not to think about anything. Not about Rory dragging her into her room or getting her out of her clothes or how soft her lips had been when she'd helped her practice kissing and how good that would feel if they just kissed properly or-

“Thank you!” She blurted out the words a bit louder than she'd meant to as Rory shut her door behind them, squeezing her eyes shut tight as she heard Rory stifle a giggle. She just had to stop being weird. Just had to stop being such a freak for one night, and everything would be fine. How hard could that be?

~

Paris didn't understand how Rory could eat so many snacks. Especially after all of that food. She'd been snacking a little bit, grabbing a chip here or a candy here or there, but Rory never stopped. She just kept eating and eating and eating and Paris couldn't figure out how. Couldn't figure out what was wrong with her that watching Rory pig out like that made her heart ache so much.

“What are you staring at? There something on my face? Not got a red vine stuck to it again, have I?” Paris quickly looked back to the TV, shaking her head as her face flushed. She grabbed a handful of chips as she felt Rory move closer and nudge her in the side, desperately trying not to crush them as she heard her giggling. “Just kidding. I'd never waste precious sugar like that.”

“I can tell. All the eating is… impressive. Kind of disgusting but definitely impressive.” Paris heard Rory giggle again, and let a little smile creep onto her face. She could still be normal. Didn't matter how she felt, she could just keep being normal and Rory would keep being her friend. She was almost entirely sure of that fact when she felt Rory press against her and lay her head on her shoulder and threw the chips straight up into the air. “Why?!” Rory jerked away and Paris stared at her, face burning and heart pounding in her chest.

“Sorry! I didn't meant to scare you, it's just… It's nice leaning against someone when I'm watching stuff. Comfy. I don't have to, though. It's alright.” Paris stared at her, mouth opening and closing as she tried to figure out something to say. She wanted Rory close to her. Wanted to be touching her but she was scared she might do something stupid if she was so she didn't but if she said no then she might offend her or Rory might wonder why she said no and what she was so scared of and she might figure out why she was being so weird and if that happened then then then-

“It's alright. You can do it. I was just surprised.” She was quiet as she spoke, and she quickly turned back to the TV, picking at crisps that had landed on her and steeling herself for what came next. Couldn't freak out again just because Rory was touching her. Couldn't risk her figuring anything out.

“Are you really sure?” Paris nodded, staring at the TV and trying to concentrate on it instead of Rory. She couldn't even remember what they were watching. Some old black and white thing Rory liked. She'd barely been watching any of it. Had spent more time looking at Rory Watching her smile at it. Watching her get excited when a good bit came up. “Alright. Just let me know if you change your mind.”

“I will.” She could barely get the words out, desperately forcing her attention to stick with the TV instead of Rory leaning against her arm again. Was she meant to think this was sad? What did Rory feel when she was watching it? What did she want her to feel? Her head was leaning on her shoulder and she was so close and why did she look so pretty even when she was stuffing her face full of frankly horrifying amounts of candy like-

“You keep staring at me.” Paris jerked back to the TV, heart pounding in her chest. How long had she been looking? Why could she not just control herself? “If you've got something on your mind you should probably just say it. Maybe then you'll actually be able to appreciate the rest of Casablanca.”

“Casablanca. Right.” Sad then, probably. Romantic? She was satisfied she was back on the right path when the movie paused and she heard a sigh. She turned to Rory, quickly looking away from the raised eyebrow and the frown. “It's nothing. Let's just get back to the movie.”

“You didn't even know what we were watching. Just tell me whatever it is you're thinking about and then we might actually be able to do it properly.”

“I can't!” Paris felt her cheeks burn as she dropped her head into her hands, tears building up in the corners of her eyes. Everything was going wrong. Rory knew something was up and now she was shouting at her. Why could she not do anything right?

“Sorry. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but you can trust me. You know that, right?”

“I do.” She was quieter now. Trying to breath again. Trying not to think too much about how gentle Rory was being when she felt her hand rubbing her back. About how she didn't deserve that kindness. “I trust you. I just can't tell you.”

“Alright. That's alright.” Paris felt the hand lift from her back, heard a quiet sigh from next to her. Maybe Rory didn't actually suspect anything. Maybe she was overreacting. “Do you actually like Jess?”

“No!” She'd shouted louder than she'd wanted, staring at Rory and praying for the ground to swallow her up. Rory stared back, eyebrow raised again, and she quickly turned away, cheeks once again burning. “I mean, no. Ew. He's really not my type.”

“So who is? Dean?” Paris quickly shook her head, skin getting hotter as she felt Rory leaning on her again. This felt dangerous. This felt weird. “Alright. How about Tristan? You seemed to like him.”

“No. I mean, I thought he was, but… I don't know. Don't think I have a type.” She was desperately thinking of ways to change the conversation when Rory's hand grasped hers and her mind stopped working.

“Well, I think you're really pretty, so whenever you figure out what it is you should make a move. Bound to work out well.” She slowly turned back to Rory, heat washing over her as she felt a thumb rubbing over hers. As she realised just how close Rory's face was to her. This didn't make sense. This wasn't right.

“What move?” Was this just what sleepovers were like? Did girls always just get this close and try to get information out of you and bite their lip and look so pretty Rory was so pretty she smelled so nice she-

“You should kiss her.” Paris kept staring at Rory, staring at her lips, blood pounding in her ears loud enough that she almost didn't hear her. Almost didn't notice her getting closer. She didn't know what was happening, didn't understand what any of this meant, what she was meant to-

You should kiss her. That's what she'd said. Not him. Her.

She moved towards Rory a little bit, finally forcing herself to stare at her eyes. They were so blue. So pretty. They always had been but she'd never seen them so close and just as she was starting to appreciate them they were closed. She was almost sad for a moment when she remembered that people closed their eyes when they kissed. She'd read that somewhere.

She kissed. Rory was so soft and she tasted like candy and Paris squeezed her hand and tried to remember what she'd been taught. What Rory had taught her. Didn't press too hard, opened and closed her mouth a little. Felt Rory doing the same. Felt like her whole body was about to burst into flames.

And then it was done. Rory pulled back and opened her eyes and Paris was frozen. Terrified. How had she done that? How could she have been so stupid? Rory was going to hate her, was going to kick her out, was going to tell everyone about what a freak she was and ruin her life and-

“So. Guess I was right about your type.” Rory grinned at her, and Paris collapsed back against the arm of the sofa, still staring at her as a wave of relief washed over her. She wasn't mad. Or at least, she didn't seem to be. She seemed to be… teasing her?

“You didn't say… You were not one of the types you said.” The words slipped out before she could stop them, and Paris felt her skin burn again as Rory smirked and gave her a wink.

“I wasn't so arrogant to think that I and I alone was your type, but I'm not going to argue. I just figured you might like brunettes who were smarter than you. And, you know, girls.” Rory grinned sheepishly, giving her hand another reassuring squeeze. She wondered if she knew how good it felt. How happy it made her.

“You aren't smarter than me. And… Do you… You know… Have a similar type?” Paris stared, heart pounding in her chest as Rory rubbed the back of her head with her other hand. She felt so relaxed. So safe. She'd never felt like this before.

“I think so. I've got Dean, and I guess Dean's my type, but… I like you too. Like being around you. Liked that.” Another wave of heat washed through her as she saw the grin on Rory's face, as she sat back up and moved closer to her again. “It's kind of scary. Get why you were freaking out so much.”

“I wasn't… Yeah. It is.” She squeezed Rory's hand, watching her turn to stare at the ground as she leaned against her shoulder. “It can be our secret, though, if you want. Feels less scary with you.” She started thinking about Dean again. What he'd think if he found out what they'd done. She felt a bit guilty. It was easy to ignore though. Easy to stop wondering if Rory was feeling the same.

“Yeah. It does. Feels nice to go through it with someone.” She ran her thumb across the back of Rory's hand, smiling giddily as she stared back at her again. She wasn't worried any more. Wasn't scared. Almost certainly would be again, but not right now. No need to think just yet. “And if I'm not smarter than you, how come you asked me to help you study?”

“I...” Paris tried to think of something smart to say back, but she gave up. Why waste what little time she had on comebacks when she could be using it to kiss Rory instead?


End file.
